Mission: Almost Impossible

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Good day, JDO. Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to capture a close-up photograph of one of the two buzzards which live at Sheen Hill.

OK – that doesn’t sound too hard….

You need to know that buzzards are very shy, and reluctant to be approached by humans.

Well, yes…

And although they rarely react to a vehicle moving past them at normal speed, they respond fearfully when a car slows down in their vicinity.

Oh, right. That will make things harder.

They also have what some people think is a preternatural ability to detect when a car is carrying a photographer with a long lens.

Oh please – you’re just being silly now.

Feel free to prove us wrong. You also need to know that should you run your car into a ditch in pursuit of this mission, or break your windscreen through careless extension of your lens, the Agency will deny all knowledge of your actions.

Fair enough.

This tape will self-destruct in five seconds.

I’ll probably be back before then.

Six months later….


Oh – and one last thing you should probably bear in mind….

Wait – what now??!!!

…..is that the stabilisation of your lens is unlikely to be able to overcome the vibration of even a stationary car if the engine is still running.

WHAT???!!! Could you not have told me that sooner???

Soz. Better luck next time. This tape will……